Body Conscious…1 Comment

As we are preparing to celebrate all the love that Valentine’s Day has to offer I realize that before we can love another, we must love ourselves.  That is an easy thing to say, “I love myself,” but how many of us can say that we love ourselves unconditionally and unashamedly.  And I don’t mean the arrogant, cocky, ‘I’m better than everyone’ feeling, because that’s conceit, not self love. I mean the I love every dimple in my ass and every wrinkle in my face love.

I’m not saying that we should settle, there is always room for improvement in life and especially in ourselves; but I think that we spend a lot of time seeking out our imperfections, then beating ourselves up for them.  And in all of that time, we don’t even go about what we need to do to adjust the problems.

The media contributes immensely to the way we see ourselves.

Between fad diets, celebrity bounce backs (that are like freaking magic!) and airbrushing…it’s hard as a real woman without the resources that they have, to keep up.  We are held to this darn near impossible standard and resort to craziness to fit in.  From anorexia to bulimia to starving ourselves and drinking cayenne pepper lemonade (which can not be great for your bathroom I am sure)!  All so we can claim to be beautiful…but we already were before the foolishness.

How many times as a child or teen has mom commented on your baby fat, or your big butt?  How many times have school-mates teased you for being bigger than the others or for your eating habits?  How many times has a scorned lover retaliated with comments about your thick middle or saggy boobs?  All of these things lend themselves to our chagrin about our bodies.  Or for my sisters that feel they are nothing without that weave.  No disrespect to those of you that make them work…but you are just as great without the 26” Yakki #5…just get your hair done.  Or for those of you that see perfectly through those hazel contacts as your brown irises are well hidden aside from that slight ring around the pupil that gives you away.  Or even you paid divas that go under the knife to nip and tuck, which I get, but it’s a dangerous endeavor and often more time at the gym time and a better diet could have done the job.

I’m not judging your choices to enhance your visual appearance…I’m just asking that we realize those things, even and including something as small as make-up, should be just that…ENHANCEMENTS.  Not things we use to hide behind or crutches we use to make us faux-feel better about who we are and what we have going for us.

With the increase of plastic surgery, eating disorders and cases of BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder), the fashion industry has finally taken some steps to show us that REAL is fabulous.  Of course the size 0 to 2 sample sizes still exist, but plus size models are getting love beyond anything they saw ten and twenty years ago.  The average woman is a size 12-14 and these ladies are now gracing the covers of top mags as well as landing coveted roles in film and television.  Models like Tocarra (America’s Next Top Model, BET) are not only showing us that it’s okay to be plus-sized, but also that being plus-sized is not automatically synonymous with being unhealthy.  She released her own workout DVD, “Tocarra’s Fabulous Workout,” and in 2008 she had a full spread in Vogue Italia’s Black Issue.  Cycle 10 winner of ANTM was Whitney Thompson, the first plus-sized girl to win the coveted title and she has been working consistently ever since.  More recently has been the January issue of V Magazine with “Precious” star Gabourey Sidibe on the cover along with many other magazine spotlights that she’s done expressing that her size is not a hindrance to her career, but it’s a beautiful thing.  The issue is their SIZE ISSUE covering topics from curvy models, to super petite women to breaking the old standard of what is beautiful.  Tyra has even created a Plus-size teen Model Contest for girls to submit their pics and stories.  The winner will get money, trips and even a modeling gig.

I believe that all of this can certainly help.  Seeing more images of real women is a way to assuage the guilt of not looking like a Halle Berry or a Beyonce.  But what about the woman in the middle right?  The chick that’s not a 14/16 but she’s five foot two and a size 8/10 with a bit more in the middle and thighs than your average (like me…LOL).  We don’t have too many of us out there to look at.  So what do we do…we look in that mirror and we figure out how to attack what we don’t like and to love it all in good faith until the problems are solved.

And even for those women that are not just big, but morbidly obese.  Vanity be damned, no one is saying to aim for a size two, but size HEALTHY is what should be the goal. 

Curves are fantastic, I have plenty of them and I love my thick hips and big booty (most days…lol) but we must not go to far left that we say obese is okay, because it is not.

We ALL need to stop making excuses and realize that EVERYONE, even those mannequins we watch on television and in magazines, have their issues…they just have more resources to address them than we do.  But even through the bull…we love ourselves!!!!  We love ourselves enough to accept the not so good, but know that we can make it better.

So before you make your V-day plans…be your own valentine!  Look in that mirror at each lump, bump and roll and say “we gonna work on you” but in the mean time…embrace it and if you need to, buy some Spanx!  If you weaving it up, get it mama.  “Pat your weave ladies” but know that even without that, no matter the length or grade of your hair…with a good stylist you’re still that ish!  Keep those contacts clean and keep your eyes healthy, but every now and again, pop them out, stand by the window with a handheld mirror and feel good about the natural pigment of your peepers…you’d be surprised the hues you find in sunlight.

You are beautiful, no matter what. You are fabulous, as long as you make the effort…you are loved…JUST BECAUSE!  Be body conscious and all of that, but be responsible for loving you first, because if you don’t…why should he or she.  And be responsible to love you ENOUGH to do and be better!

Read Also

• Model Dawn Montgomery: Overcomer, Overachiever & Gorgeous!
• Minority Mental Health Awareness Month
• Study: Blacks & Hispanics Have Higher Skin Cancer Death Rates
• Obama Announcing New Plan to Fight AIDS
• Spring Cleansing...Getting Fit & Fab!